My Journey to the Flow

The Zambian Waters That Shaped Me

The joy I felt in those early water experiences shaped everything that followed. Living in Zambia, there were only two seasons: dry and rainy. I lived for the moment right between, when everyone and everything was parched and longing for water, and there it was, carried on the wind, sometimes days before it actually arrived. The scent of coming rain, the downpour that would wash away all the dust and bring life back to everyone and everything.

My parents tell stories of my first encounter with the sea in South Africa at just one year old, my endless excitement about the waves and ocean, playing fearlessly in the crashing water. At Victoria Falls, "the Smoke that Thunders," I felt completely alive surrounded by the mystery, power, and freshness of one of the world's largest waterfalls.

That little girl knew something profound: she was never separate from water's power and joy.

When the World Shifted

Moving to a new country in the northern hemisphere at eight years old changed everything. Beyond just hearing scary stories about dark lakes and drowning, I was navigating the challenges of being a child in a new culture, unable to speak the language, experiencing bullying and isolation. The cold northern waters seemed grey and forbidding, but so did much of my new world.

Even at eight years old, I somehow understood that these difficult experiences were shaping me to help others later in life by understanding their pain. But the immediate effect was a deep pattern of self-doubt that would follow me for decades.

The Long Survival

This self-doubt became the foundation of how I moved through the world. As an adult, survival mode wasn't just about worrying, it was a constant state of hypervigilance. Every conversation analyzed for disapproval. Every decision second-guessed. I had become a stranger to my own instincts, my own voice, my own needs.

The breaking point came when close family members struggled with depression and I felt completely helpless. I realized I had spent so much energy trying to manage everyone else's emotions that I had lost touch with my own. I couldn't breathe. I was drowning in my own life.

The Awakening That Changed Everything

A friend introduced me to a Family Constellation therapy session. And I began reading Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life." I started gifting myself more time in nature and listening to my inner voice. And the voice of the little girl who danced fearlessly in African thunderstorms began to re-emerge, not just as a memory, but as spirit full of life and love and compassion.

I realized something revolutionary: I couldn't 'fix' anyone else, but I could heal myself, and paradoxically, that healing would create space for everyone around me to heal too. It wasn't selfish; it was necessary.

The Sacred 2½ Years

This healing journey has been the most profound adventure of my life. Although I had always sought out wild, natural spaces as refuge, I now began to experience nature as medicine. I started to feel empowered by my understanding of the inter-connectedness of all living things and remembered the joy in exploration, adventure, and discovery.

I returned to writing after putting it aside for many years, pouring my voice into poetry and journaling. I started dancing again, something I never thought I'd do in this lifetime. I committed to loving myself completely, which felt like the most radical act imaginable.

The scared, survival-mode woman began to remember she was water, naturally flowing, powerful, adaptive. I moved from merely surviving each day to actively thriving, creating, and expanding into who I was always meant to be.

When Water Became My Teacher

I realized I wanted to give back to nature, who had held me through everything. I committed to being nature's voice, her ambassador. And then water started speaking to me directly.

The "In the Flow" journey wasn't planned, it emerged organically as water began teaching me about flow, about trust, about the wisdom that lives in every cell of our bodies. Creating and walking through this journey myself has been like remembering a language I once spoke fluently as a child.

My Creative Life Today

What brings me deepest joy now is the full expression of who I am. I spend time wandering rivers, coastlines, and native bush, listening deeply to the language of the land. I also love creating and growing new things, writing poetry, dancing, building a safe and nurturing home for my loved ones, connecting with my local community, and finding ways to lift others up on their journey back to healing and wholeness.

My most treasured moments come when I witness the interplay of natural elements in New Zealand's bush, how light dances with water, how everything in nature flows in perfect harmony. These moments remind me that wonder is everywhere when we slow down enough to notice.

Why This Work Calls Me

Creating "In the Flow" feels like the most natural thing in the world now. I know intimately what it feels like to be disconnected from your own rhythm, the constant self-questioning, the exhaustion of trying to be who others need you to be, the deep longing for something you can't quite name. I also know the profound peace that comes from remembering your water nature.

Too many beautiful souls are struggling against currents that could carry them home. Too many have forgotten what I remembered, that we are not separate from nature's power and wisdom. We ARE nature, expressing as conscious, beautiful, flowing beings.

What I Offer

My work blends practical nervous system support with the deeper wisdom that comes from connecting with nature, water, and the poetry that lives in everyday moments. I'm the author of "Home" (published under the pen name E.L. Proot), available on Amazon, and you can find my nature-based poetry and photography on social media under Wildlight.

"In the Flow" is the first of five elemental journeys I'm creating: Water, Air, Fire, Earth, and Heavenly Bodies—each designed to awaken different facets of our elemental humanity.

An Invitation Home

If you've read this far, something in you recognizes the call. You know it's time to stop fighting the current and start trusting the flow. You don't need to figure it all out alone. You don't need to be anyone other than exactly who you are right now.

You are water. You know how to flow. Sometimes you just need someone to remind you, and to flow alongside you for a while.

That's what I'm here for.

That fearless, joyful spirit who once played without question is still within you too. They've been waiting patiently for you to remember, and now they're ready to play again.

With deep reverence for your journey,

Erika (Wildlight)